this is not a paid endorsement
1 — His family doubts his professional choice
Kritarth is an Engineering dropout who chose to do standup comedy because of his inability to remember the 7s table. He still continues to get confused about simple things. Is 7×7=49 or 77? At any family gathering, when asked: “What does your son do?” His mother says “Something, he is doing!”
Kritarth’s mother has shared his standup video, but she is upset that she is the only one who has shared it.
2 — His water delivery boy thinks he is funny
Last evening, when Kritarth told the store to send a water can home, the shop owner replied to his request with one of his Punchlines from the standup video. Kritarth was so happy about the punchline-calling, he asked him to send more water than he needed and has been bathing in Bisleri water ever since. Until his videos do not get a consistent increase in views, we as a society run the risk of depletion of water resources.
3 — Modi Is a Rox.
Kritarth’s landlord after watching his video has compared this oration skills to that of PM Modi. He said: “You are talking very nicely! Like our great Modi Ji. Do you also like traveling the world?” Kritarth tried to explain that his video, was a standup comedy videos and it causes no economic or social damage. The landlord however is still unable to understand that standup can be a profession. Thus, sharing comedy videos is essential.
4 — Send this to 10 people else you will fail the exam.
Back in the days of SMS, we got a lot of these messages that demanded being forwarded to 10 people or-else something awful will happen to you. Kritarth at this point is considering sending out his standup video link to people and asking them to share with 10 people. He is yet to come up with a hypothetical-non-existing-fear-inducing-problem. So, this will be a good time to share his video before he goes bat-shit on his family WhatsApp group.
5 — He will start making Music
Back when Kritarth was a little kid, he was kicked out of class on multiple situations for using the table as a drum-kit. Some students said he was the Ustad Zakhir Husain of furniture but his passion always lied in being the class clown. When he was 12, he wanted to be like Michal Jackson, and his dad did the logical thing and put him in Carnatic music classes. There was always a part of Kritarth that wanted to make music, but he sucks at it. Save the internet from another Dichak Pooja and see his video.
6 — For a good cause (Rent)
Making money is key in any profession unless you are in an art field like standup comedy. Here you are expected to say things like “I do this for the art, not the money!”. Well, Kritarth Does not. He really enjoys the concept of advance payment. His landlord makes it a point to comment about delayed payment on his standup videos, and thus more comments are needed to hide the comments of the landlord.
As described by the Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox. It is uncertain to determine if a cat in a box is alive or dead unless the box is opened. By applying the same theory to the video that Kritarth has uploaded, there is no way to find out if the videos are funny or not, unless clicked on.
Writer / Standup Comedian / Mostly Distracted