#CovidDiary — I Touch My Face Too Much

Wash your hands, maintain social distancing, and do not touch your face. I had no idea, the last part will be the hardest to follow. The previous two weeks, I’ve realised how much I touch my own face. Face touching, my own. Never thought a day would come when I would have to resist my hands from grazing a part of my own body. How are we all dealing with this? I have no idea.

As a person who has a long beard, I’ve been a face-toucher most of my adult life. I tug my chin beard as I think, I groom my beard with my hands, and when I drink a cappuccino, my beard likes to join in. My beard is like my smiley-face-stress-ball. Only today, while on a video call, did I realise my facial hair was more than just a style statement. It’s like being in an elevator, and you pull your phone out to dodge the awkwardness. Beard is my unread notification. Also, My mom now has a new reason for me to go clean shave!

The worst is when you have to itch your nose. Oh my! The feeling of your hands being tied down by a pandemic. Every time my nose itches, I run to the sink, wash my hands for twenty seconds and then go to town on my nose. I now understand the pleasure dogs must be getting from those long itching sessions. Come to think of it, your nose is itching right now reading this, isn’t it?

Also, if you wear glasses, you know the importance of touching your face. I only use my glasses for reading or working on the computer. But in these times of a lockdown, those are the only two things I seem to do. My reading glasses are not a permanent friend of my face. They seem to be getting along, but I often see myself touching my face when I extend my hands to adjust them. Oh my. The horror. I tried using my elbows to fix my glasses but quickly realised that is where they told me to cough. Oh no. Time to take a shower, I guess.

These are all practical reasons, but imagine the number of activities you have to stop doing because of this lifestyle change. Here are a few things you cannot do until the pandemic ends.

01. The final dance-move of the Ketchup song.
02. A Dev Anand Impression.
03. Wipe the sweat off your forehead dramatically.
04. Picking food from your teeth.
05. Run your hands through your hair like SRK in Om Shanti Om.
06. Thumb sucking at night.
07. Facepalm to Whatsapp forwards about Corona
08. Ear cleaning with a little finger like a cab driver.
09. Pretend to cry.
10. Use your arms as a tripod for your face.

The Covid Pandemic might change us for the better. They say each hour we touch our face sixteen times. This means every minute, we touch our face 0.26 times. That was an unwanted statistic. But that is the thing about statistics, they are mostly unwanted. My point is — if you cannot stop touching your face, here are a few helpful tips to help you make the change.

Firstly, I know this can be a little dramatic, but wear a helmet all the time. A bike helmet with a wiser can keep you from making contact with your face. Additionally, it will keep people six feet away from you, because they will think you are a wackjob.

The second alternative is fighting the problem at its roots. No, I am not suggesting you cut off your hands. No! That is stupid. Because if you cut the first one, you will have only one hand left. This makes you incapable of cutting the second. I’m suggesting you put one end of a battery on your hands, the other on your face. When you touch your face, the connection is finished, and it gives you a mild shock. I don’t know if this is scientifically possible, I’m just a writer.

My final suggestions might seem like something you can actually use. Start a social media challenge. If you do not touch your face for a whole day, you can nominate three of your friends to do the same. People do anything for social media validations. Using this, we can finally teach people the importance of face-distancing.

Hang in there, this will all be over soon. In the meantime, if you are staying indoors, I salute you. Oh shit. Just touched my face again!

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