satire piece, based on true feelings

 On Monday (11th Dec) the public was shocked by the decision of the Information and Broadcasting Ministry to ban condom ads on TV between 6 AM and 10 PM. Stating the reason, they said: these ads are “indecent especially for children” and can create “unhealthy practices” among them. By unhealthy practices, they mean safe sex, which is banned under the logic-loss-act of 2014.

The government has slammed yet another masterstroke, by banning No-Smoking-ads on television between 6 PM and 3 AM. Authorities say these ads are disturbing content for adults. “It has been brought to light by members of the Information and Broadcasting board that after a long day at work when adults get home to light a cigarette, the “cigarette mai tar hai” ads feel disturbing and discourage them from their habits.” said a spokesperson of the board.

“Under the Programme Code of The Cable Television Networks Rules, 1994 — any content that harms the sentiments of a particular group of people or a community may no the telecasted on TV,” said I&B Ministry spokesperson, Mukesh. “We have thus, decided to call a ban on these ads to protect the rights of the smoker community.”

He went on to say “We have loopholes in the constitution that can be twisted to propagate our blind beliefs and we shall use these to our advantage till we are in power”.

Siddharth Kumar (33), a bank employee from Bengaluru said: “I am glad the government is finally doing some substantial work. With the no-smoking-ad ban, I can finally watch TV with my entire family and not have to change the channel every time they aired.” Mr.Kumar is glad that there will be no more awkward moments while watching TV, where his family will turn to him and toss judgemental stares.

The opposition leaders, however, are against the ban. On talking to a member of the AamAadmiParty he said “Modi government is using the ban as a coverup to a bigger picture. I’m sure the Ambani brothers are paying the members of the government to kick-start their own tobacco distribution unit.”

The students of JNU, flooded the streets to celebrate this bold move. On talking to one of the students, she said “This rule must be extended to movie halls too. We will also be happy if cigarette boxes came with sudoku puzzles instead of images of charred lungs”. Support from the students of JNU however, has confused the government and a meeting has been called to reconsider the ban.


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